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Don's Story |
I was married for 22 years at the time of my divorce. I was 48 years old. A couple years after the divorce I decided to apply for an annulment and did so. There was more to the annulment process than I had anticipated, but my priest advocate was kind and helpful and together we got through it all. Then came the waiting to see if my annulment was granted or rejected. Needless to say, I was both anxious and eager in anticipation of the decision. The decision came. My annulment was rejected. Wow! How did I feel? A mixture of emotions ... dejected, upset, angry, hurt, let down, and really wondering about the entire process of annulment. Why do some receive an annulment and others do not? Does it really matter in what diocese the annulment request is made? For example, I heard that the Dallas, Texas diocese was more lenient (liberal) in granting annulments. I wondered: If my annulment request had been processed in the Dallas diocese, would my request have been granted? I also wondered how all of this is reconcilable within the Church's laws. I wondered too, do those who are responsible for saying "No" to an annulment really realize the effect on those who are rejected? Do they realize, for example, that the rejection is tantamount to a sentence of living a life of celibacy ... living a life of being alone ... after years of living in union with another? Or, if the rejected one does not adhere to that sentence of loneliness and chooses instead to live with another (either by marriage outside the Catholic Church or no marriage at all), he will be living in sin and if continuing to live in that manner, he faces the loss of his soul. What if the decision of rejecting the annulment was incorrect? What if? I was one who chose not to live in loneliness. I met and fell in love with a wonderful woman and after a period of time, we began to life together. Because of my lifestyle, I could not receive the sacraments. (I could not go to confession, say I'm sorry, but I am not going to change my ways.) I lived without the sacraments for 21 years. I did regularly attend Mass. During all of this time, I never quit believing in the Catholic Church ... I just was not obeying all the rules. I was a true hypocrite. And, presuming on God's mercy, I always intended to come back to the sacraments ... "but not yet." By the grace of God, I did make my decision to come back to full communion with the Church. "Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been 21 years since my last confession." That was two years ago. Everything was not easy. But then neither was Christ's passion and death. I am so very happy to be home! Don |